Notes on Working With Djinni

Whether you accidently rub the wrong lamp, find a cursed gem, or perhaps even come across a monkey’s paw, you may find yourself working with a Djinn, or genie, and even if it’s an incredibly beautiful blond actress of a genie, you still have to find a way to gauge it’s intentions and abilities.  After all, you can’t just take the word of anything that materializes out of a cloud of smoke, or appears in a vision. That would be irresponsible.  So here are a few tips to handling an encounter with a Djinn:

1. Firstly, never assume that the creature wants to grant you wishes.  In fact, it could just be mad that you woke it from its centuries of slumber and may just want to kill you.  Watch it like you would a lion, and be prepared to flee.

2. There is no way of knowing if the creature has any concept or understanding of human speech, let alone English.  Also, it may not appear as human.  So if it does not address you in english, or speaks in what sounds like a language but is not english, then raise your open palms in front of you in a gesture of goodwill and peace.  This gesture is your best shot, but stay on your toes, it may not have any desire for peace.  If it doesn’t speak english, then your best bet is to leave it alone, just back away slowly until you’re out of sght, then book it.

3.  On the off chance it speaks english, or eerily learns it instantly upon hearing you speak, then talks can continue, and it may get offended if you try to run.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to not mention wishes.  In fact, don’t ask for anything at all.  The creature could take that as a request for a favor, grant you the request, and then demand payment of its choosing, which could be anything from bits of string to your still beating heart.  So without asking any questions, try and find out what it wants (difficult, I know, but wise).  Try to claim that the creature is in violation of small rules and gauge it’s reaction,  Say something like, “This place is forbidden!  You are not allowed.”  If it reacts with anger, then running away would be a good idea.  If it reacts with fear or haughty denial, then you may continue.  Keep away from questions, continue to claim its presence and motives are in violation of non-existent rules until it explains itself.  There is a risk associated with this method, but it is by far the most wise course.  The risk is that the Djinn is just a really cool person, and you’ve alienated it with your nonsense.

4. If it offers wishes, just walk away, the risks outweigh the rewards.  Just the chance that it could misinterpret a wish is enough to say that making a wish, like traveling backwards through time, is a bad idea.  If you really have to, to save a dying loved one or something, do not make the wish on the spot.  Call in a lawyer, if possible, and work with him and the Djinn to draft a wish that will safely achieve your goals.  At the very least, sit down and write it out before saying it, look for ways your words could be used against you, take the time to write up intended definitions of the words you’ve used, be smart about it.  The last thing you want after all this is to end up blurting out “I wish for gold!” and have to watch as the thing shoots you with Goldfinger’s gun.

The important thing to remember is that your safety comes first. This is a fight or flight situation, not a sugar or no sugar in your coffee situation.  Oddly enough, these rules can be applied to a wide variety of encounters.  Be it aliens, strange beasts, fairies, or even just human strangers these rules are a handy tool for meetings which require caution.


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